JOSÉ MATIAS
(A DIVERSION FOR FOUR WOMEN)

CHARACTERS

MARIA ANTÓNIA wife of JOSÉ MATIAS.
CRISTINA lover of JOSÉ MATIAS.
CARLA daughter of MARIA ANTÓNIA and JOSÉ MATIAS.
HELENA friend of JOSÉ MATIAS. 
LIKA , MARIA ANTÓNIA’s dog.



SCENE 1.


    (When the curtain opens MARIA ANTÓNIA is lying on the floor, downstage, with her arms round her dog, LIKA . They roll around, she pets him and speaks to him with great tenderness as if he were a little child).


MARIA ANTÓNIA - So how’s your day been? Who’s the loveliest doggie? Just look at you, what a lovely doggie you are... You’ve got all your teeth, you can see and you can smell , you’ve got a lovely shiny coat, you don’t have to pay the bills so what do you know about life you gorgeous creature, you? What more do you want? You’ve spent the whole day sitting on your arse listening to Ludmilla singing.         (she improvises a Bulgarian-sounding song which she sings very high; the dog pricks up its ears)    . Yes, well, it makes my hair stand on end too but what can you expect? She does a great job on the ironing. She makes delicious fish pie. No-one can make a good fish-pie like the Russians.  Well, look at me, here where you see me, two stomachs and a liver. First thing in the morning after breakfast. And then off I go on the rounds of people who’ve been operated on, then of people who are going to be operated on, then to actually operate…..the whole thing’s a great big operation...And you sitting here on your backside. A very bad stomach, completely buggered up....and your liver problem won’t go away, no it won’t, old boy. (She rubs his stomach)    You like having your tummy rubbed like this don’t you, you ragamuffin you....
    
(A key in the front door, MARIA ANTÓNIA jumps up, shushes the dog and pushes him away, hurriedly puts on her shoes, combs her hair composes herself and sits down on the sofa, play-acting. Picks up the whisky from the coffee table.).
SCENE 2.


CARLA – Is he here yet?
MARIA ANTÓNIA.- No.
CARLA – When’s he coming?
MARIA ANTÓNIA- I don’t know.
CARLA – Didn’t he say anything?
MARIA ANTÓNIA - No.
(Pause)
MARIA ANTÓNIA  - But we can eat if you want. It’s all ready.
CARLA- No, no. Let’s wait.
( CARLA looks coldly at the dog)     Into the kitchen. Right now! You smell disgusting, you horrible dog.                 ( The dog doesn’t move. CARLA begins to tidy up the room. She picks up a can of room freshener and sprays, especially around MARIA ANTÓNIA. MARIA ANTÓNIA picks up a packet of cigarettes from the table) .
CARLA – I hope you’re not going to smoke?
(MARIA ANTÓNIA puts down the packet. She follows, somewhat anxiously, CARLA’s movements as she tidies up the already tidy room, aligning objects.)
CARLA -   (without looking at MARIA ANTÓNIA )       You’ve been playing around with the dog again. You’re covered in hairs.
MARIA ANTÓNIA -    (changing the subject)       But tell me about Frederico. Are you going to be spending every weekend away?
CARLA -      (looking towards the door anxiously)   I thought I heard someone... Why don’t you tidy yourself up a bit? Your hair’s all over the place. You look as though you’ve been through a hedge backwards. Just take a look at yourself!
MARIA ANTÓNIA -                (picks up her bag from the floor and takes out a little mirror, looks at herself)         I like what I see..
  ( she untangles her hair a bit with her fingers. She puts up with CARLA’s brutalities with complete serenity).
(CARLA goes SR to the kitchen, and sniffs the air).
CARLA – Don’t tell me it’s fish-pie again.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – Your father likes it.
CARLA – But he shouldn’t. But it’s not good for him.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – He won’t eat salad.
CARLA – You should learn to disguise what’s good for him…tomatoes, carrots…just disguise them.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – Disguise them as what? A turnip head? Complete with beard and moustache?
( Picks up the remote and puts on the television, CARLA stops, scanadalized)
CARLA – And now you’re even going to watch television. You’re such a philistine! Whenever I get home there you are lying on the floor barefoot and rolling around the room with that dog....






SCENE 3.


    ( CRISTINA is weeping convulsively. She’s wearing very old pyjamas and woollen socks and is the very image of desperation. She’s got a little notebook with a black cardboard cover in her hand. She flings it away. She stops crying, throws a rope over a beam, gets up on a stool, puts the rope round her neck. Sighs, kicks away the stool, the beam collapses: so does she who ends up sitting on the floor with her legs out; she breathes heavily, and very distressed,, loosens the knot, and coughs painfully with her hands at her throat.. Pause. She starts weeping again. The scene is grotesque).


SCENE 4.


( HELENA’s kitchen. In the middle a worktop, SL a table with four fragile little chairs, SR a huge old cupboard. There’s a disproportion between the table and chairs and the cupboard. US a range of machines and a fridge. HELENA is making a salad while she speaks on the phone. It’s a cordless phone and she’s got it between her head and shoulders. The idea of the scene is that each stage in the making of the salad has a counterpoint in something HELENA says. From time to time when she’s finished a stage in the salad-making she tips in some vegetables from a Tupperware container, seals it and puts it back in the fridge, where we can see there are dozens of similar containers filled with salads).


HELENA - ....men want a mummy to look after them, they never let women go, never, they just substitute one mummy for another, that’s all...and they’re afraid of them…poor things! No, Maria Antónia was always very laid back, she used to spoil him so much, and now....Yes, but she let herself go, put on weight….And she’s got this crazy passion for the dog. The girl? Absolutely unbearable, one of those real little know-alls, full of complexes, has to have a proper sit-down dinner on the stroke of eight, goes around with her little rope of pearls, just like Caroline of Monaco when she was in her princess phase ... a real pain in the arse..No, the parents pay for everything, and she needs a laptop and expensive art books .....says she’s got some kind of job in some kind of museum, I don’t believe a word she says, I don’t see her doing anything except shopping and chatting on her mobile   … She’s a real little slypuss.....poor thing he’s had no luck at all…those women, honestly, they’re the limit…that whole pack of women twist him round their little fingers, he’s a real sucker, and a man with his CV! Greek and Latin! Who on earth knows Greek and Latin these days? ... . A really intelligent chap, and sensitive too, worldly-wise ...But that’s the way it is, what can you expect?  People kill themselves to avoid being alone. And can he bear to be alone? No, he doesn’t have much to do with the wife, it’s the kid that’s really in control of everything...   (Pause)    Hang on, mother, I’ve got another call, let me see who it is…   ( Puts the call on hold and answers on the other line)    Zé !  I was just talking about you... Was it? Again? Shit…! Are you going there ? No, wait, I’ve got the key.
( Pause)   Well, what are friends for?












SCENE 5.


( MARIA ANTÓNIA and CARLA are sitting at the table opposite each other. There’s a tea-trolley next to the table. They’ve just finished dinner, a salad. MARIA ANTÓNIA picks up a packet of cigarettes, CARLA gives her a look and she puts it down)


CARLA – You should streak it. That’d make you look slimmer.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – Perhaps I should have it cut a bit.
CARLA – That wouldn’t help. Your problem is that you’ve got a very round face. You need to lighten the colour and frame your face a bit more.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – But tell me about Frederico.
CARLA -    (without great enthusiasm)  He took me to lunch at an amazing place, just opened. It’s really the place right now. Delicious food. Beautiful surroundings, very lively. And in the middle of lunch Frederico gave me a bracelet....diamond !
MARIA ANTÓNIA – How wonderful..let’s have a look!
CARLA – Don’t be ridiculous, I’ve deposited it in the bank. Do you think I’m going to go around wearing such a valuable thing?
MARIA ANTÓNIA -   That was the right thing to do, of course. Very sensible. And are you spending every weekend in Rome?
CARLA – Perhaps next weekend, he’s got to work this one.
MARIA ANTÓNIA -    (a little fearfully)     And when are you going to bring him ...?
CARLA – Oh, some time.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – You’ve been saying that for the past six months.
CARLA – I just don’t want to bring him here, OK
(CARLA gets up and starts arranging the crockery on the trolley with great care. As her tone becomes more and more violent, the more rigid and geometrical is her arrangement of the crockery).
MARIA ANTÓNIA -   (genuinely surprised)          But why not?
CARLA -    (after a pause)  It’s not really the kind of house one would want to bring people to, is it?
MARIA ANTÓNIA –  It’s  just like any other house, isn’t it? You bring  Frederico, we’ll have a nice little dinner. You father will put on a tie and he’ll choose the wine. I’ll have my streaks done. And we’ll just be an ordinary family having dinner.
CARLA – For daddy to put on a tie and choose the wine, he’ll have to come home first.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – But he does come home
CARLA – Once in a blue moon he comes to pick up clothes and have breakfast  before he goes off to the University.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – He’s always liked having breakfast at home.
CARLA –        (coldly)    I understand very well why he doesn’t want to come home. I understand that he doesn’t want to come and be with you.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – There are times when not even I want to be at home with myself…
(CARLA looks at her fixedly)
CARLA- I don’t even know why he stood it for so long.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – Through inertia, I reckon.
CARLA – What does he have to come here for?
MARIA ANTÓNIA- He comes to see you almost every day.
CARLA – He comes to collect me for dinner.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – You know he adores you. He just loves being with you.
CARLA –     (increasingly nervous)     To come here and listen to your girlfriends and your boyfriends talking the hind legs off a donkey, and they’re such bores.  No, it’s me that has to endure them! Not a day passes without the house crammed with people and dogs and noise and dinners and mess and your chatter!
MARIA ANTÓNIA -    (very calmly)   Today it’s just the two of us.
CARLA – Total joy!
MARIA ANTÓNIA – Your father and I...I’m not going to discuss your father with you.
CARLA – No, me! I’m the one who suffers. You just don’t give a damn.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – I’m sorry, but it’s not my fault. It’s just how things turned out.
CARLA – You make absolutely no effort, You just let things go; don’t you realize that relationships have to be cultivated. Isn’t that what you’re always saying? That they have to be cultivated....and especially the ones with the people we love most? Isn’t that what we have to do? Cultivate them. Then do it, cultivate them.


SCENE 6.


( CRISTINA is sitting on the floor, in the same pyjamas. HELENA, stands and looks at her disapprovingly).
CRISTINA -  (putting out her wrist)    Feel my pulse.
HELENA - (without touching her)  Your pulse is fine. Forget your pulse. You’re fine.
CRISTINA – I haven’t got parents, I haven’t got children, I haven’t got a husband, I haven’t got a lover. I’m just fine.
HELENA – You’ve got your job and you’ve got your friends….
CRISTINA – I’m utterly alone....
HELENA – who are beginning to get fed up with your scenes.
    (CRISTINA looks at her, embarrassed)
HELENA -   (pulls over the stool and sits near her)   So what happened this time?
CRISTINA – I got up on the stool and that bitch of a beam...
HELENA – Not that, you clot. What happened to make you get up on the stool?
CRISTINA – Everything hurts. Here inside.
HELENA – But haven’t you taken your anti-depressant?
CRISTINA – Yes I have, I’ve even taken several. I take an anti-depressant to go on the bus because sometimes there are no seats and I get depressed being among all those tired people, all swinging from side to side with that suspended look, and then I take an anti-depressant to go and work in the travel agency, that’s a different kind, they’re little blue ones and they give me the patience to endure people who want to go flying off all over the place, or to somewhere, or nowhere, they’re people who don’t want to be and don’t want to exist…then I take an anti-depressant when I look at the clock because each time the hand moves time’s passed and he’s not here with me.
HELENA -  So you haven’t taken your anti-depressant.
CRISTINA – They take away my sensitivity.
HELENA -  It’s better than hanging yourself.
CRISTINA – Everything hurts. I’m tired.
    ( She lies on a floor in an almost foetal position.  HELENA gives her a reluctant caress).
HELENA – But has something happened to you? Has the bastard done something?
CRISTINA - No, the bastard just goes on with his life.
HELENA - Ah. So what was it?
CRISTINA – I can’t tell you.
HELENA -  If I know you at all you’ve got mixed up with another bastard who’s done it again?
    (Pause)
CRISTINA – I don’t want to speak about it.
HELENA – Don’t you think it might perhaps be time to change your attitude to the things these bastards do? And that this thing about killing yourself on Wednesdays and Saturdays….
CRISTINA – I don’t see that I have any special kind of attitude. It hurts where it hurts and when it hurts, that’s where I’m sensitive. That’s all. If I wasn’t sensitive it wouldn’t hurt me any more.
    (HELENA gets up, starts to roll up the rope and keeps it with her.)
HELENA – I don’t think there’s anything wrong in being sensitive. What you’re doing isn’t being sensitive, it’s being stupid. I think it’d be better in the end....
CRISTINA – It’s not over yet. Only when it’s all over can you turn to those present and say that, because only then is there a kind of ending. And this was just a phase. I didn’t realize that it was going to be a phase when I got up on the stool, but I actually had a suspicion, a doubt...
HELENA – But for the next phase don’t count on me. Go ahead without me.
CRISTINA – There was a Persian king called Croesus who asked Solon, who was a great sage, who was the happiest man he’d ever met in the world. And Solon said: Yes, Telo of Athens. Croesus was really pissed off because he’d just shown the Greek endless treasures. That were all his, his very own property. Gold and precious stones and beautiful things from Persia. Lands. Bulls. Horses. But Solon thought that it was only after his death that you could say whether a man had been happy or not. The existence of man, he told Croesus, is all ups and downs  “You have to see the end of everything and how it finishes. Many are allowed a glimpse of the god of happiness but then he cuts them down and there’s no appeal.”
HELENA – I’ve heard  Zé tell that story at least ten times.
CRISTINA – Only months, even years later, if you by any chance happen to speak of me, you might say “she seemed to be getting better in the end”….
HELENA – And your neck?
CRISTINA – Here we are.
HELENA – Are you all right?


SCENE 7.


    ( CARLA is alone in the sitting room, seated where MARIA ANTÓNIA was in the earlier scene. The monologue is as much of silence as of speech .)
CARLA - Stupid dog. Hairs all over me.    (...) She comes in and I go out. (...) I don’t want to. I don’t want to. (....) What am I going to say to him (...)  He gave me a bracelet (...)  And next time...(...) But I...me..and him standing there with that look on his face, smiling ! (...) Smiling !     (The doorbell rings. CARLA goes to open the door)  ... Daddy ...?










SCENE 8.


( MARIA ANTÓNIA and HELENA are smoking in MARIA ANTÓNIA’s sitting-room . LIKA is lying by MARIA ANTÓNIA, with his head on her lap. She strokes him while she speaks. Every time MARIA ANTÓNIA says anything about FREDERICO , HELENA agrees with cynicism and her attitude is always sceptical.).


MARIA ANTÓNIA – I had dinner with Zé.
HELENA – And the famous Frederico?
MARIA ANTÓNIA – They were meant to be going to go to Rome this weekend but he had to work.
HELENA – It’s obvious that a man who gives her diamond bracelets every month must be working twenty four hours a day...
MARIA ANTÓNIA – Did you know that he’s a Castelões...?
HELENA – I’d guessed something of the kind.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – It’s important to Carla.
HELENA – And I bet not from the common branch of the family ...
MARIA ANTÓNIA – No. this one’s from the branch of the Castelões who matter. So she says; I’ve never seen him.
HELENA – I bet he’s tall. Muscular. Dark. Tanned. Large eyes. Blue?
MARIA ANTÓNIA – That’s what she says.
HELENA –A blue-eyed Castelões – her ladyship the countess must have been mistaken.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – The ones I know are as dark as Moors.
HELENA – A banker. Very rich. Good in bed. Beautifully dressed and perfumed.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – But with a casual style, even so.
HELENA – Everything he wears is expensive and of the best quality.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – But of course!
HELENA – He’s a good lover. He’s  intelligent.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – But not too intelligent.
HELENA – He’s cultured.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – But not one of those bores who always knows everything.
HELENA – He’s caring. And sure of himself.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – But not too sure of himself.
HELENA – No, there’s nothing coarse about him. He’s got immense charm. Beautiful manners. I bet he’s faithful to her?
MARIA ANTÓNIA – Could anyone not be faithful to Carla?
HELENA – And how long’s this been going on?
MARIA ANTÓNIA – More than six months.
HELENA – This is too good to be true.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – They’re talking about marriage.
HELENA – Do they talk a lot or a little?
MARIA ANTÓNIA – They talk a bit.
HELENA – It would solve your problem.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – It certainly would.
HELENA – And have they ever actually spent a weekend together, perhaps not in Rome, but in Figueira da Foz?
MARIA ANTÓNIA -     (thinks)    I can’t remember.
HELENA – And have you ever happened to notice, rather than a diamond bracelet, one of those plastic watches?
MARIA ANTÓNIA – Yes, I did see one of those. That I did see.
HELENA – And if you’ve never seen this so-called Frederico in person, have you ever heard his voice?
MARIA ANTÓNIA – Look, now you mention it, I don’t think I have.


    ( A key turns in the door, MARIA ANTÓNIA looks anxiously at her wristwatch. Hurriedly puts out her cigarette; HELENA looks at her intrigued. MARIA ANTÓNIA smiles, suddenly shy).


SCENE 9


    ( CRISTINA speaks to herself as she takes pills).


CRISTINA -  I’ve got my work, it’s an extraordinary job, I’m sick of travelling...I’ve been to New York...I’ve been to the Dominican Republic…I’ve been to Istanbul…I’ve got loads of friends, really loads of friends...I’m alone, I’m fine alone, I’m really and truly fine alone so go fuck yourself ... Do you think I need him for anything?  Do you want him? There are others who do......I don’t want him either, the shit-face, but who does he think he is? Professor of Horseshit?       (Takes a pill, picks up the mobile, accesses voice messages, listens, there aren’t any)      Bastard...       ( Dials on the landline phone, listens, pauses, takes another pill).       We’re friends aren’t we? We’re old friends, we’ve known one another for more than ten years, why does anything have to change now? Just because we went to bed together, just because we had two or three fucks?  Or four or five? Which anyway weren’t anything special, to tell the truth...?  He’s got his job, he’s got his family, he’s got his wife, he’s got his daughter, and don’t I just happen to know it? I don’t know them? I’m sick of knowing this, sick of it !         (Another pill)   No, let’s go on being friends as if there was nothing between us. Because there was nothing. Nothing.   (Collapses into the armchair).    God, I’m knackered.
SCENE 10


( HELENA enters CRISTINA’s house. CRISTINA has fallen on to the floor. HELENA calmly kneels down, feels her forehead with her hand, making sure she’s not dead, sees the bottle of pills, but doesn’t react. Picks up the notebook from the floor and begins to read it).


HELENA -     “ 19th of April from 8 o’clock till ten past eight in the evening, 21st of April from 7 till 7.35 in the evening”…but what is this nonsense? “Day of Greatest Glory, the 1st of May, from 2.30 till 5.45…6th of May, the cinema, seven o´clock showing, holding hands, happiness, complete happiness.” …(she fans her face, takes an underground ticket out of the notebook and reads what someone’s written on it)   “Eden, in Greek…”   (takes out a small paper napkin)        “He called me my lovely girl from the Minho on the 6th of May at ten past three, Café da Paz, had a croissant with custard, he hadn’t had any lunch”. God Almighty, such a lot of nonsense.
    (Picks up CRISTINA under her arms and starts to pull her towards the bedroom. She wakes up a bit and resists).
CRISTINA – Who are you ?
HELENA – Who should it be?
CRISTINA- Get the hell off me. You’re always here hanging around. Go away, you’re not my friend. Go back to your own life,  get off me.
HELENA – Shut up or I’ll really go away.
CRISTINA – You’re such a friend, such a good friend...
HELENA – Leave you here on the floor, is that what you want?
    ( CRISTINA gets free of HELENA , sits on the floor, seemingly composed. She speaks slowly and seriously, with a certain indifference).
CRISTINA – I’m now going to tell you something that will surprise you. Because you’ve got this idea that you’re all sorted out, that nothing affects you,  you’re thick-skinned,  you’re above these things, and that’s why you don’t go and kill yourself on Wednesdays and Saturdays, isn’t that true?  Well then, prepare yourself, I’m going to tell you the reason for my snivelling suicides and shovelling down pills with no effects whatsoever.
HELENA – Let’s hear it.
CRISTINA – José Alberto de Almeida Matias, the man with everything.
HELENA – Do stop this nonsense.
CRISTINA - José Alberto de Almeida Matias, disintegrated professor, of an elevated and free spirit, but a married body, mother’s son, wife’s husband, also the father of his wife and son of his wife and father of his daughter and son of his daughter…And brother of his wife, like with the Egyptian Pharoahs where incest was the norm in the family home.
HELENA – Stop this nonsense.
CRISTINA – I know this is difficult for you because you go sniffing round there when you think he’s receptive. When you can see that he’s no saint, and that he eats up female students – but only the really intelligent ones – and only at the end of the third periods so no-one misses the deontology class.
HELENA – He doesn’t eat his students,  you really are mad.
CRISTINA – Of course he does, he’s all throat. He says he eats them, but he doesn’t, he just lies down and waits for them. Well that’s how it looks to me. Men are so....how can I put it, so... boastful. Once I had a lover who gave me the idea, by slips of the tongue, well, by condoms let’s say, that he was cheating on me.  As he was cheating on me, I cheated on him. But what he wanted to do was to impress me which he did manage to do, disagreeably it must be said.
HELENA – I’ve been a friend of his, and his wife, for twenty years, don’t you think I know him?
CRISTINA -      (suddenly gets up, moves towards HELENA , as if she’s going to give her some important news)         But it’s all such a bloody mess! It’s so strange, really, really strange. We meet, we chat, we have lunch, we have dinner, we chat some more, we even all go on holiday together, then in Fortaleza one day we happen to get completely pissed and fall into each others arms one warm and moonlit night. The next day he can’t remember anything about it and I can’t think about anything else…his life continues, hardly changed at all, while mine has completely stopped making any sense at all.         (Moves closer to HELENA , almost threatening her))   Could it have been the heat? Could it have been the kiss? His hand on my breast? What was it that happened there? There was a change in the way things were, a change in the nature of things….what on earth happened? What would happen if I kissed you now for example?
HELENA – I’d give you a good slap.
CRISTINA –    ( with pity )    You’re jealous, aren’t you?
HELENA -     (pushing CRISTINA away violently)    Jealous of what? Jealous of who?
CRISTINA -  Because you’re not so important any more.
HELENA –  That’s enough.
CRISTINA - (stretches her hand in front of her like a blind person)    Look at all this space between us. This is pure air. No-one must trespass in this space. It’s private. It’s sacred.
HELENA -     (now by the door)    Look, pull yourself together, all right? I’m sick of this.
    ( leaves)
CRISTINA – Now this whole space is...  (between her and the front door).


SCENE 11.


    ( MARIA ANTÓNIA is ready to go out. She’s had her hair streaked and has high pointed spike-heeled boots and is dressed smartly. She is speaking to LIKA).
MARIA ANTÓNIA -  She must be about thirty don’t you think? Thirty-five max. Any more’s pushing it. I imagine her to be blonde, how do you see her? Ah, yes, loads of dark blonde hair , very pale skin, light brown eyes, but a real woman though, you see?  Tall with a figure, big tits, Zé was always keen on tits…She’s delicate, very sensitive, artistic, he’s always been crazy about artists. Perhaps she writes poetry . I don’t know, perhaps that’s going a bit too far. A poet..that’d be a real stroke of luck. And she’d have to be from an old family, a family with a country seat, a bit of a black sheep but with a pedigree, perhaps half English… left wing ...Zé’s always gone for English women…left wing ones. And then with property in the Douro which is never mentioned. What do you think?    (Strokes Lika’s head lightly)     No opinion. That’s safer. Of course it’s all guesswork. But with a wonderful woman like that, big, blonde, sensual, caring, and on top of all this an artist, he’d really be getting what he’s looking for, don’t you think so?  You don’t have any opinion on the subject. You’re such a reserved dog. Do you like big tits too? Is that what you fancy in bitches? Today no cuddles, no rolling on the floor because today I’ve got to leave the house looking like a lady!  So, do you still love me?
(Laughs good-humouredly and leaves)


SCENE 12.


    ( HELENA is putting ice in glasses of whisky as she speaks to MARIA ANTÓNIA ,who’s offstage in the sitting-room )
HELENA – She’s completely deranged, thank God I substitute the pills in the bottles so that every time she kills herself it’s only with calcium and magnesium.
MARIA ANTÓNIA -   (enters smoking, in the same suit as the previous scene but barefoot)     Poor thing! She must feel terribly lonely...
HELENA – I allow her a Valium or two to give the scene a bit of reality. With all the women that there are out there I can’t honestly say she was a very happy choice. She’s not even particularly pretty....if it had been a highly interesting and attractive woman I could understand how he might be seduced, even a little despite himself. I always thought Zé had more sense.  But you seem very calm about it......
MARIA ANTÓNIA – I feel fine about it.
HELENA – Your husband is being hounded by a deranged woman and you feel fine.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – Surely not completely deranged. You must be exaggerating.
HELENA – You don’t even want to know who she is!
MARIA ANTÓNIA – Oh, I do, of course.
HELENA – Aren’t you interested?
MARIA ANTÓNIA – Of course I am.
HELENA – It doesn’t seem like it.
    (HELENA starts making the eternal salad with exactly the same gestures and in the same order as before)
MARIA ANTÓNIA- Do you think he loves her?
HELENA – He’s somewhat intrigued by her. You know what men are like; they always like a good problem.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – What’s the problem? Doesn’t she love him?
HELENA -    (looking at her incredulously)        What planet are you living on? She’s a nutcase! She’s got a clinical record going back to her first depression at the age of six....in place of a first communion...
MARIA ANTÓNIA – Surely you must be exaggerating.
HELENA –  She’s a great tragedy queen and always was.
MARIA ANTÓNIA –  I bet she’s pale and blonde with big breasts...am I right?
HELENA - ( not hearing )       When you fall in love it seems as if you move into a different dimension and even a more or less normal woman becomes like a character from an opera ..or operetta. All women have a certain hankering for drama, to be Madam Butterfly or La Dame aux Camellias, but in this case it’s utterly pathetic....
MARIA ANTÓNIA – Does she write poetry?
HELENA -      (stopping)        What the hell kind of a  question is that?
MARIA ANTÓNIA – You were talking about camellias.
    ( MARIA ANTÓNIA loses interest in the conversation and starts to eat peanuts and things by the handful, a bit compulsively)
MARIA ANTÓNIA -     (unwillingly )    Carla...
HELENA -    (stops what she’s doing)    Gone back to her campaign?
MARIA ANTÓNIA – First she wanted me to have my skin peeled so she took me to a dermatologist for a laser peel, it hurt like hell ...Weeks and weeks of it.
HELENA – But you look great.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – It really did hurt like hell. Now she wants me to do liposuction on my thighs and tummy...she made me put on a bikini in the sitting-room and she studied as if I was a lump of meat..... I’ve got too much fat, only good for roasting.    (Pause. Picks up her glass of whisky).   
HELENA -  Delicious! I admire your patience. I don’t know how you can stand  it. If it was me I’d....…
MARIA ANTÓNIA -   (interrupting)        I got a letter from Sister Pearl today.
HELENA – From Sister Pearl ???
MARIA ANTÓNIA – She was my English teacher at the Convent.
HELENA – Our Lady of Fatima, save me. This is advanced weakening of the brain. You write to your English teacher at the Convent?
MARIA ANTÓNIA -    (turning her back to her))   I’m thinking of going to live at Vale de Lobos.
HELENA – Where’s that?
MARIA ANTÓNIA -    (quietly)      To go into a convent.
HELENA -   (stops her salad making)      But this is absolute madness.
MARIA ANTÓNIA   (with irony)   Do you want Carla to do a complete makeover on me then? One of these days I won’t even be able to recognize myself in the mirror!  This way Zé can have his way with that nutcase and Carla will be convinced that it’s all my fault, and as she’s already convinced that everything that happens is my fault…...
HELENA – But you’re not a Catholic! You’re not religious! You’re not a believer! You don’t believe in God!
MARIA ANTÓNIA – To escape from the liposuction I’ll do whatever I have to.
HELENA – You’re just kidding. I really believed you for a moment.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – The only problem is Lika. I don’t know whether they allow dogs in convents.
HELENA – They’re also God’s creatures.


SCENE 13.


( CRISTINA alone in front of the mirror, a glass of brandy in her hand. She’s wearing stiletto-heeled pointed boots, black fishnet stockings and a red bustière. She looks like something from Moulin Rouge, with heavy make-up and her hair backcombed).
CRISTINA -     It’s tits you want is it? I’ll give you tits. You want some arse? I’ll give you arse. I’m good, I can be good too. Say what you want and I’ll do it. You want a cuddle? I’ll give you that too. I’ll smother you with kisses. I’ll do whatever you want. I’ll do whatever you need. I’ll invent whatever you want, you just tell me what it is you want. What do you think he might want?
    ( Sits on the suicide stool, takes off a shoe)
Him and her. With seasoning  and without. Normal, abnormal. Alive and dead. Friend, lover. Single, married. Fish or fowl. Summer. Winter. He loves me not. He loves me. The napkin. Mouth. He’s a normal man in the end, just a man like all the rest, my lover is just a man like all the rest of them. I don’t know what that means.       (Picks up her mobile, taps in a number, leaves a message)    I’d like to leave a message for Professor José Alberto de Almeida Matias… Sôter, egô…look, I can’t remember the rest… I don’t speak Greek, so I’ll leave it in Spanish. No, Italian. Amore, ti aspetto alle otto, sono io la cena.     (Laughs, followed by a hiccup).   My God, this is so ridiculous. It can’t go on like this.      
( Taps in another number for the message service for the land line).          


SCENE 14


    ( MARIA ANTÓNIA and CARLA are facing each other, on foot, in the middle of the room, in combat positions. The scene begins in a pause in an argument that they’re having).


CARLA – A relief? Was it a relief for you?
MARIA ANTÓNIA – I wouldn’t exactly call it a relief.
CARLA – But that’s what you said. When Daddy stopped loving you it was a relief.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – It made the separation easier.
CARLA – So you did it on purpose.
MARIA ANTÓNIA - No...
CARLA – You made it possible for that to happen.
MARIA ANTÓNIA - No...
CARLA – You stopped connecting. You let it die. You let it slowly die.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – People have to be free.
CARLA – And that’s why you want to go and live in a convent?
MARIA ANTÓNIA – It’s not really a convent...I’m not religious.
CARLA – You’re mad.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – I know it’s a bit strange, and that it’s hard for you to understand, even I find the idea pretty amazing, and I’m only thinking of doing it a few years from now, not right away.
CARLA – You want to go and live in a convent with your dog.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – We’ll see about the dog later.
CARLA – Why don’t you leave your dog. You leave Daddy, you leave me, it’s only the dog you want to stay with.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – It’s not quite like that, Carla.
CARLA -   ( with a growing controlled hysteria )    Don’t you think that this is the height of perversity? You abandon your husband and daughter because you’re bored and pissed off and fed up with them and all you want is an animal without any will of its own? What do you want Daddy to do for you to love him, do you want him to grovel at your feet?
MARIA ANTÓNIA -  Grovel? Your father and me...
CARLA – You’ve never loved anybody, you’ve never loved properly, you’ve never suffered properly, with you everything’s OK. Life? OK Death? OK.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – And it is OK !...
CARLA – For you it’s all stomachs! Oesophagus, shit, hearts, guts, no feelings, no real feelings, living, dying, it’s all the same, it’s all the same to you!
MARIA ANTÓNIA – Nothing’s the same!...
CARLA – It’s the philosophy of life of the carnivore! Of the butcher! Open up and slice and cut and trim and close up and stitch and there you are! And then to the next one and there you are! Have you ever heard yourself speak about the people you operate on? You sound like a grocer! You want to know people for one thing only…so they don’t bother you! Peace and quiet, that’s what’s needed! What you want is for them to leave you alone!
MARIA ANTÓNIA -    ( exasperated)     I don’t want them to leave me in peace at all! I don’t want them to leave me in peace at all! You go and leave me in peace, Carla! Please! Go and amuse yourself with something else, watch television, go out with your friends, go and send some e-mails, but leave me alone!
CARLA – But if that’s what you want, for me to leave you alone you could have said something before and I’ll pack my bag and go......(interrupts herself, it’s clear she doesn’t know where to go)
MARIA ANTÓNIA -      (desperately)         Don’t go away.
CARLA -    (slyly, suddenly)          You don’t want me to go?
MARIA ANTÓNIA - No...
CARLA – Let’s talk then, OK. Calmly.    ( MARIA ANTÓNIA moves away from  CARLA who follows her messing with her clothes and hair, straightening the collar of her blouse. MARIA ANTÓNIA resists but hasn’t got the courage to stop her completely)    You’re changing. You can change.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – Perhaps it’s not reality that we want.
CARLA – You can win him back. There are really good products nowadays, wonderful creams and fantastic doctors....         (CARLA raises her voice as she sees her mother withdrawing, becoming shrill and hysterical)     and you really still look great, the streaks really suit you and you can lose some weight with a bit of a diet and some will power, but I’ll help you and we can do it together, you know I’ll always support you in everything...
MARIA ANTÓNIA – Sometimes things aren’t quite a simple as that.
CARLA – He wants to come home, I know he does. I’ve spoken to him and he says he really loves you and misses home a lot. But it’s you that has to make the effort. Get together with him, invite him to lunch, spend a romantic weekend together...What have you got against him? Nothing! What’s he done to harm you? Nothing!
MARIA ANTÓNIA-      (still quietly)   - Not everyone is able to live in an invented reality.
CARLA  - ( not hearing )       Isn’t that true ? You can’t just throw away twenty-five years of marriage, you have to make an effort...For me and for you and for Daddy. It has to be you that takes the initiative, it’s you that must want it because you know that men...
    ( MARIA ANTÓNIA, not knowing exactly how gives her a violent slap).
MARIA ANTÓNIA -   (exasperated, in a muffled shout, forcing CARLA down onto the sofa) - Be quiet! Just be quiet!    
CARLA -       Mummy!
    ( CARLA remains sitting, furious, looking at her. She doesn’t even remember to raise her hand to her face.  MARIA ANTÓNIA tries to control herself and sits opposite her and seems about to speak. Then she gets up suddenly).
MARIA ANTÓNIA – Look, just go to hell!
    ( leaves the house)
( CARLA stays sitting for a moment, then gets up goes to the front door, lays her head against the door and utters a dry choking sound which is her way of weeping).
CARLA -  Stupid! You are very stupid! You are really and truly stupid!
( shouts through the door)   You really are a stupid bloody idiot. A stupid bloody idiotic bitch of a fool. A stupid bloody idiot! Useless!




SCENE 15


(HELENA is in the kitchen making her eternal salad. She’s dressed to go out, in black stiletto-heeled pointed boots. Her phone monologue, with her mother again, is a trifle exasperated).


HELENA-    ( brandishing a big knife)     Look, they have to get their act together!! I’m fed up with it! I’ve told them, it’s their family so they have to sort it out!  She doesn’t care about him...it’s absolutely clear! What she wants is for him to come home with his tail between his legs! With his tail between his legs! Mother Maria Antónia of the Angels of Mercy ! As if I didn’t know her...! When women reach a certain age they ...Oh, what a bloody mess it is. No, but Mother, all he wants to do is play golf! Get on with his life! Study the classics! He’s beseiged on all sides. But one has to say that he hasn’t shown any great discernment getting entangled with all those women  ..he had to get stuck with this useless creature...she’s so silly, with her mysterious pronouncements that no-one understands the meaning of...and, my God,  she can’t even kill herself!    (Pause)  Men don’t like women weeping and wailing. She’d been a friend of his for years and years and the idea of pursuing him all hours of the day never passed through her head, but in the end, that’s what’s happening, what do you expect? They become their lovers and then they think that they’ve got the right to all kinds of special rights and powers. My God, what a dreadful hen-house it is!


SCENE 16


( MARIA ANTÓNIA is SL with a brandy glass in her hand which she tilts calmly. She’s dressed to go out and is wearing pointed stiletto-heeled boots. Silence. HELENA is leaning against the counter. MARIA ANTÓNIA goes to the salad counter and takes a handful of peanuts which she pops in her mouth one by one as she speaks)


MARIA ANTÓNIA -     (calmly, undramatically)           I used to go to the hospital every day and each day was an adventure. It was a challenge. I used to think: is this really what I am, is this what I want to do in life. Not every day, but on good days, on most days.  Now sometimes I’m operating and I lose interest in the middle, I almost feel like leaving the victim opened up on the operating table and turning my back on it...
HELENA – You’re at a difficult age.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – I can assure you it’s no more difficult than any other. Now I feel like going into the wards and telling them from the doorway: right, you’re all cured!
HELENA -     (mockingly)     A miracle!
MARIA ANTÓNIA – All go home and don’t come back!    (They laugh )  It’s just that every day there are more of them! More stomachs! More livers! There’s no end to it!      (Pause)  ...Even today I went into the operating theatre just like I’ve been doing for twenty years, and did all the usual things, the usual chitchat with the nurse and then at some point she asked: where are you from? And I very stupidly said “Where from, what do you mean?” Where were you born? ….And can you believe it; I couldn’t remember? I just stood looking at her and she looked at me, smiling, waiting, because I really and truly couldn’t remember where I was born.
HELENA -   ( uninterested, gnawing on a carrot)  That’s just the age you’re at.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – I ended up just by saying any old place, just to put an end to it. At lunchtime Artur from X-Rays
came right up and and gave me a big hug and said “ I had no idea you were from Chaves !". Now I’ve got to go and have lunch with him in some Trás os Montes restaurant and…...
    (Here they start to enjoy a certain complicity like in the conversation about  Frederico)
HELENA – Now you’re really in the shit... Being from Trás os Montes is a big responsibility. Couldn’t you have chosen something a bit nearer? Now you’ll have to invent a family tree, relations, an ancestral home, all in Chaves and that’s going to be a real bore to do not to mention the expense…...
MARIA ANTÓNIA – I said I was from near Chaves, from a little unknown village near  Chaves...
HELENA- And you left it as vague as that I hope?
MARIA ANTÓNIA – I said it was called Cumin. That’s what just came to mind at the time. It was a very awkward situation.
HELENA – Cumin, on the way to Oregon?
MARIA ANTÓNIA – You don’t pass it on the new road.
HELENA – Fortunately, if you don’t know it doesn’t exist.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – This is all to say that I’m still trying to find out where I was born.
HELENA – You were born in St. Anthony’s Hospital, everyone knows that!
MARIA ANTÓNIA – I might have been born there but I don’t belong to St Anthony’s Hospital.
HELENA – What an idea, no-one would ask that of you.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – Everyone belongs somewhere. To something. A place which you go to and you know that that’s it. A place that doesn’t refuse you or misunderstand you or argue with you. Somewhere that just accepts you because that’s where you’re from.
HELENA -      (putting out her arm to her)      Just look how you give me the creeps when you talk like this. It makes my hair stand on end. It really is the most depressing thing this lament of the menopause…why can’t you admit once and for all that you’re suffering from a huge depression and you can’t be bothered to do anything about it? That I am able to understand, now just don’t tell me all about singing hymns to the nuns in the convent of Vale de Lobos.
MARIA ANTÓNIA -   (ironically)    A completely free life of study and contemplation in the bosom of Mother Nature. Why can’t I have that?
HELENA – Because you’re a people person.
MARIA ANTÓNIA - And...?
HELENA – You need a lover.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – Then prepare me about three kilos of fresh lover.
HELENA – A life of study and contemplation is a bore and you wouldn’t last more than two days in the bosom of Mother Nature. You’re not a daughter of Mother Nature...
MARIA ANTÓNIA – I know, I know. I’m a daughter of St Anthony’s Hospital.
    ( Another handful of peanuts. A sigh.)


SCENE 17


    (  HELENA’s kitchen. CARLA sitting at the table opposite HELENA. MARIA ANTÓNIA is standing on the other side of the table opposite CARLA. HELENA is smoking calmly and MARIA ANTÓNIA is upset. CARLA sobs with misery but no tears. A very fast scene).
MARIA ANTÓNIA – How terrible. Poor man.
HELENA – So his bank went broke. And he was left with nothing.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – And decided to go and live in...
HELENA - Cape Verde.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – That’s a big change.
HELENA – Day to night.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – And so sudden!
HELENA – I knew it. It was bound to happen.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – And he only told you just now?
HELENA - No, but he’d realized what she was like. He went all alone to Cape Verde! They’d  made love for six months, a perfect idyll, promises of marriage, trips and diamond bracelets and then when things start to go wrong he just leaves her standing there......
MARIA ANTÓNIA – We do know the situation, Lena.
HELENA - Men.
    ( MARIA ANTÓNIA makes a gesture to comfort her daughter but CARLA looks at her coldly, unresponsive . MARIA ANTÓNIA stops).
MARIA ANTÓNIA – Don’t cry, sweetie. It’ll all be all right, you’ll see.
HELENA -  (ironically)     That’s a real gentleman! I liked it very much, thanks a lot, now I’m going off with someone else! And off he goes without a look back.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – He had to go!
CARLA – He had to go without me!
HELENA - No, I’ll tell you what it is. It’s that men can’t stand independent woman, women have to be tied hand and foot needing them and living for them. A woman who works and earns well, who’s intelligent, attractive, sure of herself...she’s out of luck....no-one wants her…
MARIA ANTÓNIA -   (to CARLA)     It’s natural for him to want to go on ahead, to find a house, to prepare the terrain...
CARLA -    (suddenly, getting up, upset )    He went. I stayed.
HELENA – What men like is women they can have power over, who they can be adored by and whose every word is a kind of superior truth…
MARIA ANTÓNIA – It’s natural that you shouldn’t go yet isn’t it, sweetie?
CARLA – But I’m not going.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – But why not?
CARLA – And leave you both here alone.
HELENA – They love to feel like gods…and if someone does something bad to them they’ll go running to tell on them to Mummy...
CARLA – I’m not going.
HELENA – They can’t live without Mummy. Now to have a true and faithful relationship with a woman body and soul, a relationship of equals, that would be too much for him...!
MARIA ANTÓNIA -     (to HELENA )     Do shut up about men. Men, men. One man at a time. One at a time. It’s complicated enough with just one, trying to get to know just one, without having to deal with these hordes of men who are this, that and the other.     (Passes by CARLA, caresses her lightly on the shoulder)        Don’t be upset, you’ll see that it’ll all pass in a moment.
CARLA -   (aggressive)          What will pass in a moment?
HELENA – He’s already passed. He’s moved on. No longer to be seen. Ciao Freddie.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – You’re 25, Carla, and of course it seems terribly serious and hard to bear, but everything’s going to be all right. If you’re not going to marry Frederico, you’ll meet someone else and be very happy.
CARLA – But do you really think I’m just like you. Skimming over the surface. That one day I like someone and the next I don’t? That today I love a man but in a while I’ll get fed up with him?
MARIA ANTÓNIA – In a while? That while was 25 years..
CARLA – When you love someone it’s for a lifetime and Frederico is the man of my life.
HELENA – But in Cape Verde…
CARLA – We don’t have to be together all the time.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – Exactly.
HELENA – Well then, there’s no problem.


SCENE 18


    ( CRISTINA is discreetly dressed to go out. Pointed black stiletto-heeled boots. She’s at the mirror trying to convince herself)
CRISTINA- Enough of all this weeping and wailing. You’ve got to hope for the best. Take destiny in your hands and get stuck in. Into battle. Forward and upward. United we can win. She has to help me. She’s his best friend, she says she’s his best friend so she’s in an excellent strategic position. Helena will intercede on my behalf. She’ll lobby for me. She’ll show him who I am, and how important and indispensable I am to him.
We’ll go to Helena. We’ll embrace Helena’s knees and implore her...We’ll put ourselves in Helena’s hands. Slip from the hands of José Matias into the hands of Helena who will elevate me and consecrate me and deliver me once again to José Matias by her own hands. Cleansed and shining. First, to ask for forgiveness. For the trouble, the histrionics, the little betrayal. Helena cleanses the guilt. Grants forgiveness. Intercedes. Begs for help and intercession from he who sits on the right hand of God the Father. But where will Helena actually be in the celestial hierarchy? Among the seraphins who guard and protect our Lord, or seated at the foot of the throne, tiny, admiring the splendour of God smiling along with the  tubby little angels? Which one is her? Where will she perch?  To the right of God the Father? To the left of him? Or five steps below the throne where she screams and no-one hears her?


SCENE 19


    (CARLA is in HELENA’s kitchen, very tense, looking at the open fridge where lots of plastic boxes of salad are ranged. CARLA is as always discreetly dressed, and with pointed stiletto-heeled high boots. HELENA comes in, closes the fridge door and moves towards CARLA. The dialogue is whispered so MARIA ANTÓNIA can’t hear).


CARLA – A convent. A load of women together...How disgusting.
HELENA – She’s joking, don’t worry, you know what she’s like, sometimes she goes and does one of these crazy things.
CARLA – She’s mad.
HELENA – It’ll pass. But haven’t you spoken to your father yet….?
CARLA – My father...couldn’t even imagine it, he’s really…he’s got a real thing about mad people.
HELENA- But why are you continuing to insist that she’s mad? She’s got the right...
CARLA -  (interrupting)   You’ve got to help me.
HELENA- Of course I’ll help you, but don’t be like this. There’s no need for that.
CARLA – She’s mad, she should be put away.
HELENA – But if she wants to retire from the world and you want her put away in an asylum it’s a bit the same isn’t it?
CARLA – Please don’t joke about this. It’s a very serious matter. My mother hasn’t been well for a very long time. She talks to the dog, she’s lost interest in work, she’s not into any normal things….she couldn’t care less about my father. And this idea of them separating is….absurd. Absurd. She need to have treatment. Take something, some kind of therapy, I don’t know. But you’ve got to help me, Lena!
HELENA-  It’s you that’s got to help her and stop criticising all the time. Your mother’s just going through a difficult phase and doesn’t want to admit that she’s suffering. When she admits that ...
CARLA -    (interrupting)    I don’t know what I should do. She doesn’t take care of herself, she’s getting old and pretends that she likes that, just to irritate me.
HELENA - No, she needs to understand that...
CARLA – She’s got to be well, to seem well.
HELENA- She’s suffering. She’s very vulnerable. And that’s why she closes up. Because she doesn’t want to see, doesn’t want to feel.
CARLA – You’ve got to persuade my father to come home.
    (Pause)
HELENA – I can’t see how I can persuade your father to do anything. He’s a grown man, he does what he thinks best.
CARLA – It’s a complete breakdown, Lena. The family is sacred.


SCENE 20


    ( CRISTINA is at HELENA’s kitchen door looking at  MARIA ANTÓNIA who’s taking advantage of HELENA’s absence to clear out the fridge).


MARIA ANTÓNIA-      ( going through the tupperware boxes)     Bloody hell, this woman’s got nothing to eat!.....the fridge is stuffed with grated carrots, sliced tomatoes, courgettes …what’s this?    (opens a box, sniffs)     Tuna... that’s exotic.... (settles down to eat the tuna salad with her fingers and sees  CRISTINA. Puts the box back in the fridge)    
Come in, come in! You look as if you’ve seen a ghost!
CRISTINA-     (pointing to the boots, embarrassed)    Are they new?
MARIA ANTÓNIA -    (giving her two kisses)     But, darling I haven’t seen you for six months. Not since the holidays! What on earth have you been up to?
CRISTINA- They’re really lovely.
MARIA ANTÓNIA –   Where have you been hiding?
CRISTINA – Really lovely.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – They hurt like hell.
CRISTINA- But they look great.
MARIA ANTÓNIA- My back’s completely fucked.
CRISTINA- They look really good on you.
MARIA ANTÓNIA- They should have come with a crown of thorns. Perfect for masochists.
CRISTINA- They make your feet look great.
MARIA ANTÓNIA- Well, at least that’s something.
CRISTINA- So how have you been?
MARIA ANTÓNIA- Me, oh fine. Carla’s been a bit down because of the separation.
CRISTINA-  You’ve separated?
MARIA ANTÓNIA -    (quietly, moving towards CRISTINA, but as if she was talking about something that hasn’t got anything to do with her)        Zé’s got another woman somewhere and we decided it would be better if he went to live in the  Leça house.
CRISTINA-     ( loud, scandalised)       He’s living in Leça?
MARIA ANTÓNIA- Speak quietly because Carla doesn’t know.
CRISTINA- About the separation?
MARIA ANTÓNIA- About the other woman.
CRISTINA- He’s living in Leça with this other woman?
MARIA ANTÓNIA- He has been for about two months.
CRISTINA- And she doesn’t know...
MARIA ANTÓNIA- Zé feels more comfortable there. Lena says she’s a complete nutcase but I take that with a pinch of salt. He’s terrified of any hint of insanity. Do you know that his mother...
CRISTINA-    (realizing that HELENA’s been speaking about her)     A nutcase.
MARIA ANTÓNIA- Well she was, in and out of clinics, and this had an awful effect on him. I really liked her, actually. But then she wasn’t my mother. It all right to have aunts that are mad but not mothers. We used to go there to dinner sometimes and she’d be talking to herself and singing her head off all over the house, putting on voices, pretending to be God knows what… Zé would almost die of embarrassment.
CRISTINA- He’s afraid of madness.
MARIA ANTÓNIA-  But she wasn’t dangerously mad just terribly high-spirited, but at that time….And as I said to Lena, men panic when women seem to be happy.
    ( HELENA comes in, without looking at the other two, closes the fridge door)
HELENA -  What’s that about Lena?
    ( Sees CRISTINA, stops)   Oh, it’s you? I thought it was my mother. I asked her to come and help me move the cupboard.
MARIA ANTÓNIA- I came round to tell Cristina about Zé.
CRISTINA- She said that he’s living in Leça with a nutter.
HELENA- I didn’t say she was a nutter. I said she was crazed by love, not the same thing at all.
CRISTINA- She said she’s been living in the Leça house for two months.
HELENA- I didn’t realize she was actually living in Leça, I thought she was half here, half there.
MARIA ANTÓNIA- They’re both there. It’s nearer the university.
CRISTINA- It’s better for him. For him and for the nutcase.
    ( The three of them remain silent, in a circle. HELENA looks down at the tips of her boots, somewhat embarrassed , CRISTINA looks at her fixedly and  MARIA ANTÓNIA looks at the two of them in turn).
HELENA-    (not able to stand the silence any longer)         Well, there you are. It’s a real bummer.


    (Goes slowly towards the cupboard on the left and leans against it. To CRISTINA )   I’d like to move the cupboard over to that side. But it weighs a bloody ton so you’ll all have to help.
    ( MARIA ANTÓNIA slowly turns her back on them)
MARIA ANTÓNIA – Was it during these holidays?
HELENA -    ( starting to try and move the cupboard by herself)   Was what during these holidays ?
MARIA ANTÓNIA – That the happy pair got together.
HELENA -   (giving up)   But what are you talking about?
MARIA ANTÓNIA - That José Matias has performed the act with Cristina Isabel, here present.
HELENA – You’re imagining things!
MARIA ANTÓNIA – I’m imagining things that actually happened.
HELENA – It wasn’t at all important. It’s over.
CRISTINA – He didn’t tell you. He hid what was going on between us from you. You are so close and he hid what was going on between us from you.
HELENA -    (still pondering the cupboard. Sits and looks at her)     He doesn’t have to tell me every little thing that he does.  (Small pause. To the cupboard)    We need a crane for this. Even with the four of us we can’t do it...
CRISTINA – Going to bed with me isn’t a little thing. But of course he was ashamed to tell you.
HELENA - Ashamed?
CRISTINA – He speaks absolutely openly with you. You don’t judge him. You can’t apply the normal rules of morality to José Matias. If he kills someone it’s because the victim deserves it. If he betrays someone what he does is not  betrayal.
HELENA – And you’re talking about betrayal?
CRISTINA – But he knows that it’s betrayal and he’s ashamed.
MARIA ANTÓNIA  ( to HELENA)    You knew it was her.
HELENA -   (to  MARIA ANTÓNIA)     You wouldn’t have wanted to know.
CRISTINA - ( to  MARIA ANTÓNIA)    It was me that had to spell it out to you.
MARIA ANTÓNIA -    ( referring to HELENA)    She wouldn’t want to know.
HELENA – You’d never have guessed it!
MARIA ANTÓNIA – So is this the nutcase who’s been pursuing him and killed herself and who plays the Lady of the Camellias?
HELENA – He wasn’t to blame.
CRISTINA – There wasn’t any blame.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – Forgive me. I didn’t realize.
    (Pause)
CRISTINA -   (fearful but resolute)   What are we going to do then?
HELENA -   (going to the cupboard again)  I don’t know. It’s not going to be difficult.
(MARIA ANTÓNIA approaches CRISTINA, calmly. We don’t know what she’s going to do. Then she puts her arm around her shoulders ,takes her over to the counter, looks for a carrot, gives it to CRISTINA and chooses another one for herself. They both eat raw carrots, MARIA ANTÓNIA with her arm around CRISTINA, very much at ease).
HELENA – You make a fine pair.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – Don’t you interfere.
CRISTINA -   (to HELENA)  Would you mind leaving us alone?
MARIA ANTÓNIA -   Why don’t you go and entertain Carla?
HELENA – But later we’ll do the moving.
    ( HELENA goes into the sitting-room SR).
MARIA ANTÓNIA – I don’t know whether we’ve got a problem, my dear friend. We’ll see if we have a problem. Do you have a good time in bed together?
CRISTINA – You can’t say that we couldn’t say we didn’t.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – That’s important for him.
CRISTINA. Now we hardly see each other.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – Did he run away from you?
CRISTINA – I don’t know if I can’t say that he didn’t run away from me.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – He’s done that kind of thing before. Touch and run.
CRISTINA – I don’t understand him.
MARIA ANTÓNIA -   (moving towards the cupboard)   And you fell in love with him, you poor thing?
CRISTINA – Isn’t it strange? It’s not that I don’t know him. We’d known each other for ages…
MARIA ANTÓNIA -  (leaning against the cupboard)    Mysteries.
CRISTINA – But I must ask your forgiveness, I shouldn’t have…...
MARIA ANTÓNIA - ( trying to move the cupboard)    He didn’t seem very happy to me. He seemed pretty down in the dumps. Does he love you?
CRISTINA -    (going to help MARIA ANTÓNIA, without conviction)   No... I think so. He doesn’t dislike me. I don’t think that he doesn’t love me.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – That’s what’s the worst. Not knowing anything.
CRISTINA – It isn’t that I didn’t want to. He didn’t tell me that he’d separated.
MARIA ANTÓNIA –If he lied to you it’s because he cares about you.
CRISTINA -    (giving up)     Or because he doesn’t want me to know. I thought he was still living at home. And this is what Helena told me too. That nothing had been decided.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – Let’s resolve it now then.
CRISTINA - No, but he....
MARIA ANTÓNIA – First, us.
CRISTINA – You’re....you’re not...angry?
MARIA ANTÓNIA -   (sitting at the table)     I’m amazed.
CRISTINA – He adores you.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – He has his days. But I’m usually a kind of invisible shield.
CRISTINA -   (sitting too)    And I’m the sword that he protects himself from you with.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – The sword...?  That’s a bit much. We’re cousins. We’re friends.
CRISTINA – I wish I was his cousin.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – I’m afraid I can’t help you there.
(Pause)
CRISTINA – What do you think?
MARIA ANTÓNIA – But if  you work so hard, you’re at the agency every day, you go on a trip at least once every six months, where are you going to find the time to minister to him? Dinner on time, complicated shirts, you need to get a cleaning woman or a maid.
CRISTINA – That’s impossible. You can’t get anyone.
MARIA ANTÓNIA -  True. There’s nothing harder.
CRISTINA -     ( embarrassed)                   Doesn’t Ludmilla do one day, a few  hours?
MARIA ANTÓNIA – I send her over once a week. But I don’t know if that’s enough. And she’s Croatian. Not like the Romanians we used to have.
CRISTINA -  I had one who stole.
MARIA ANTÓNIA -  Ludmilla’s a treasure. And she’s got a husband who she can send over now and then to run errands for almost nothing. He goes to pay the bills, stands in queues and does all those things that one just hasn’t got time for.
CRISTINA – A husband’s always useful.
    ( They remain seated, facing each other, smiling. HELENA enters)
HELENA – Well then, can we start? This is really going to be quite a lot of work. We’ll have to take everything out of it or it won’t budge.   (Stops and looks at them)   You two look like the cats that got the cream.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – Are we still going out for dinner?
HELENA – Are you sure you´re still hungry. You both look as though you’ve had enough.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – Don’t push it.
HELENA – Isn’t anyone going to tell me anything?
MARIA ANTÓNIA -  It’s just between us.
( CARLA enters SR, from the sitting-room, and half hides herself behind the cupboard. MARIA ANTÓNIA, CRISTINA and HELENA, absorbed in the argument, don’t see her).


HELENA – There’s nothing like female solidarity.     (Pause)    However, there was a witness.     (To CRISTINA)    It has been confirmed with the future Mrs. Matias.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – And without us consulting you.
HELENA – Did either of you think of asking him?
MARIA ANTÓNIA – You mean, asking you.
HELENA – It’s all settled. Subject closed.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – And it’s Ludmilla who gets to stay with him. First prize.
HELENA -   (to MARIA ANTÓNIA )  And she’s ready for it.
CRISTINA – I get to stay with the husband as the consolation prize.
HELENA – They say Ludmilla’s husband will do anything that no-one else wants to do.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – He doesn’t have anyone to do those things for him.
HELENA – I was just trying to save you. For Zé it was just something that  happened and that this one here transformed it into a tragic drama.
CRISTINA – This one here doesn’t actually see things like that. This one here thinks that he told you that it was just something that happened because if it was serious you’d be jealous. And he doesn’t want to lose you.
(CARLA stifles a sob, hiding her face in her hands. MARIA ANTÓNIA gets up and so does CRISTINA on a reflex. HELENA has a little smile of triumph.)
HELENA - Carla really was hoping that Zé was coming back home. But if you two have really decided....
CARLA -    (to MARIA ANTÓNIA)   You are really depraved, do you realize that? You’re both depraved! You can’t do this! Daddy isn’t just a thing that can be thrown away when it’s no use any more! And that you chuck out like an old shoe. You just can’t do this!
MARIA ANTÓNIA – We were joking. We do realize that this is very important to you.
CARLA – And what about for you !? You decide this as if no-one else is affected by it, you decide everything yourself, you always want to have complete control over everything! And Daddy......
MARIA ANTÓNIA-        ( suddenly irritated )     Daddy what? What have you got to do with this? What do you know about my relationship with your father?
CARLA – Haven’t I been around for the past twenty-five years? Didn’t you notice me?
MARIA ANTÓNIA – I’ve known your father for ever. He’s part of my family.
CARLA – If you didn’t notice me it’s because you weren’t there. It’s you that wasn’t there.
MARIA ANTÓNIA- We were lovers, we got married, we were happy. We had a full life and that was great. Then life separated us. These things happen. Everyone’s got the right to lead the life they want.
CARLA- Now you’re quoting from a soap! Has everyone really got the right to live their life as they want and to be happy ?
MARIA ANTÓNIA – We’re real people.
CARLA – Even if you destroy everything around you?
HELENA – Real people have their faults.
CARLA – There are some real people who think about others.
HELENA – Who go to Cape Verde.
CARLA – Who go to Cape Verde because there isn’t any alternative.
HELENA – Who are too perfect for this world.
CARLA – For your world of disgusting men and horrendous women!
HELENA – But they do exist, the disgusting men and horrendous women
CARLA – In your filthy mind.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – We must have a nice dinner together at home when Frederico comes back.
HELENA – A dinner of ghosts.
( CARLA goes SR, as if to leave the kitchen, then changes her mind, leans against the counter with her arms crossed and head down with a gloomy expression ).
CRISTINA – It’s obvious that a king has to have three daughters.        (Puts out her hand, palm upwards, as if she’s seeing if it’s raining)             The sky hasn’t fallen.
    ( The others look at her intrigued)     The truth has been revealed and the sky hasn’t fallen. No cosmic event has occurred. The planets are following their courses out there.
    ( HELENA goes to the cupboard, opens the doors two by two and remains looking into it).
MARIA ANTÓNIA -    (to CARLA )    You say I don’t care about people. That I open and close them up and that they’re nothing more than stomachs to me. And that my life has made me cold and uncaring. You may be right. Perhaps I have lost faith and some of my spirit along the way...
CRISTINA -   (interrupting)     The Ancients read the future in people’s insides. The liver, for example, represented the cosmos. The state of health of an animal’s liver told the future.
MARIA ANTÓNIA -    (starting to walk across the stage)     I feel fine. A bit hungry perhaps.
    (CARLA gives her a furious look and leaves)
    ( to HELENA ) I can see that you must really like this cupboard. What’s in it?
HELENA - Nothing. Old stuff.
MARIA ANTÓNIA – And why do you want to move it from where it is?
HELENA – Aren’t you going to talk to the kid?
MARIA ANTÓNIA – It’ll all be all right in a minute.
HELENA – Wouldn’t it be better for you to try and explain...
MARIA ANTÓNIA – I don’t know how to explain.
(Pause)
HELENA – You won’t help me then?
MARIA ANTÓNIA – Yes, if you want. I think it’s fine here actually.    (to CRISTINA )   Don’t you like it here?
CRISTINA – Yes, I do, I really do.
HELENA – Well, then....
    ( Looking towards the door, moving towards it to meet someone)   
    ....Mother....?